Think you should have made your resolutions by now? But you’re not overly inspired…
Think you should be bouncing out of bed to reach the goals you’ve set already? But it’s dark in the mornings and it takes a will of steel just to drag yourself out into the cold, dark early morning (for us Northern Hemisperers) to wake the kids in time for school. Trust me, I know…
Think you’re not as effective, productive, interesting, artistic, creative, fun, loving, proactive, daring, organised… (insert your ideal quality) as you should be? As ‘other people‘ are?
Think you should already ‘be there?’ Wherever ‘there’ is…
You talkin’ ta meeeeeee?
Maybe… most likely… you’re just talking to yourself the wrong way. Would you listen to (and keep hanging out with) a friend who always compares you unfavourably with other people? Please say No!
Topsy turvy thinking leads to stuckness.
Maybe… probably… you’re getting this back to front and outside-in. Yep – outside-in.
When you try and fix objectives and make goals with the ‘outside-in’ approach, you’re in pirate territory. Gets a bit doldrummy in those parts. Flat, dingy, oily waters. Not my favorite waters to be in personally.
I used to have dreams (when I was crashed out on the sofa after working and studying full time) that an invisible force was sucking me down into the crack in the back of the sofa and I couldn’t for the life of me pull myself out. Or sometimes I would dream I had a finish line in a few metres front of me, but my legs were ankle deep in chewing gum and I couldn’t pull my legs up out of the icky sticky stuckness, without a superhuman effort.
The outside-in approach works a bit like that.
It’s shrouded in ‘shoulds,’ gottas’ and ‘musts.’ Thinking in terms of ‘shoulds’ (Pirate speak… completely 2013!) is self-defeating because it’s built on negatives and consequently often finishes in feelings of frustration, inadequacy, discouragement and general, all round stuckness. Like being sucked down the back of a couch, or not quite crossing the finish line because your body is weighted down in sticky stuff.
The inside-out approach isn’t powered by thinking. It runs on feeling, listening to your heart, and creating space. Everything a self-respecting pirate hates!
When you act from the inside out, your goals, wishes, objectives… dreams… future plans, personal transformations etc, are tethered in your soul. And if you get very quiet, listen intently and feel into what your heart is leaning towards (or in my case, racing full pelt into ), you’ll feel a faint, but insistent pull in that direction, naturally. You’ll float towards it.
That’s when you start putting the structure underneath it.
Ditch the negative thinking, the shoulds, the whatiffery and the doubt … and all of a sudden, you won’t have to force, push, heave or yank yourself out of bed to greet the new year, or the new day for that matter. Ok – that was an exaggeration… It’ll still be a bit of an effort to make the transition from cosy dreamland to a cold, wood floor in a dark room.
But by then you’ll have a woollen carpet down and a bedside light handy to help you out! Because, more than anything else, you will want to!
Personally, I’m enthusiastically easing into January, taking my time to listen, breathe, take stock of last year and gently put 2014 on the maps, ready as always to circumnavigate and ward off my pirate thoughts.
If you need any help doing the same, give me a call. It’s easier and much more fun as a team.
Fabulous 2014 to you all!
PS. The 2014 dates for the Opening Doors ‘beat your pirates’ workshops are going up tonight. Even that is still in 2013 for the moment!
One of the lovely participants from last years workshops waxed lyrical about her thoughts on transitioning into 2014 here. Give it a squizz (check it out)!